I think that magic ethics are people ethics. And my rule of thumb is if I would do it without magic, I will do it with magic.
I will direct all my flirting, attention, dolling up, and so on towards one person that I want to attract. I will also do that with magic. But I accept the consequences that maybe this person won’t like what they see beyond the charisma and that they might not be the best person for me.
If I am fed up with choosing the wrong type of person for me, I will make a list of qualities I am seeking and a list of deal breakers and I will hold to it when dating. I will even post it on a dating site for everyone to see, that is how committed I am to it. I will also do a spell to attract dates with people that conforms with those lists.
If I want to get laid, I will go out on and look for people who want to have sex with a person like me. I could post an advertisement, hit up my little black book of people who said they wanted me or were wanting sex, or I could cast a spell to create my dream chance encounter.
I would change my communication patterns, try to fix problems, compliment my lover, bolster them up, whatever it would take to smooth a rocky period in our long term relationship. I would also cast a spell to sooth the hurt and repair the relationship so it can continue.
I would choose to do both regular actions and magic actions or just one or the other in any of these cases. And I would do the same for people who I wanted to help with their situations.
But sometimes even for these simple things I would do for myself, I can’t really do them for other people. Why? Well I know that I am in a place where I am potentially desirable to the types of people I desire. I want a working professional who is giving and thoughtful and creative, and I am all those things too. There are people out there who are working professionals, giving, creative, and thoughtful who want someone who doesn’t work, and doesn’t have all those other characteristics, and maybe they still aren’t taken—but its harder odds. I have flaws like anybody, I am fairly messy with all my creative stuff and often the people who otherwise want me don’t love the mess—I am not saying I am perfect. But if someone wants a kind of person that isn’t very likely to want them—I might prefer they fix up their life first to attract that kind of person generally and then do the magic to arrange that ideal encounter where everything goes right.
Oh goodness, I am getting all excited remembering my first date with Puck. tee hee. We both had done love magic of the attract the kind of person who wants a person like me variety.